....And, we're back...

Just like that, we go across the ocean again.  Clearly incapable of sitting still, we broke our one year vow of staying put.  We had a good eight-month run in Hawaii.  Ian continued to work for Disney and Du Vin and I managed to pull off two Etsy business' from the closet of our studio.  One, in particular, proved to be extremely lucrative in a short span of time.  I call it "The Tooth Fairy Project" because, low and behold ... I saved enough money for the next step in getting Momma's new grill!  Please refer to the most recent posts if this means absolutely nothing to you ...

In late December, Ian accepted a job as the new General Manager of Hacienda Iguana, the beachfront development near our casita in Nicaragua.  We are extremely gracious for this opportunity because it has allowed our family to return to this country, knowing we will have a sufficient income to survive.  This has been our dream, and it has finally come true.  We arrived just over a week ago and Ian has been hard at work since the day we arrived.  This move came with many inhibitions, and it has been an emotional journey sorting through our rational and irrational fears in this endeavor.  As a family unit, our strength has grown exponentially as we ford through what has been, a very difficult year... to say the least.  Losing my teeth came with so many more challenges than I could ever have foreseen, and Ian has been the most patient, gentle, kind and understanding partner in this whole, wide world.  I have been completely wrecked over it, and this move to Nicaragua has already proven to be just what the doctor ordered.  In so many words, I'm slowly snapping out of it.  But, more on that later ... 

The most important thing I'd like to convey is, we're so happy to be in Nicaragua!  We've rented a great townhouse that is close to the beach, with plenty of space and all the modern conveniences that were required by this mom, in order to make the move down more comfortable with a one year old.  We're happy with our decision to live in Hacienda Iguana.  In the meantime, we've rented out our casita in La Vista which of course, helps supplement our own rent in Iguana.  

On Monday, Liv turns one.  My baby .... my little baby.  Where has the time gone already?  Here are a couple of photos from the vault ...

Christmas 2012

IMG_6446, a photo by melissabonte on Flickr.

Baby's first Christmas! ~with Daddy

I'm sitting!

I'm sitting!, a photo by melissabonte on Flickr.

Back to Life

Back to life, back to reality - I have that 80's jam stuck in my head after watching Ian head-off to his new job at the Disney Resort during the wee hours of the morn today.  After a lengthy, corporate training period, he is dialed-in and bringing home the bacon for his family.  I'm trying my best to pull-off a new Etsy business from home while taking care of Liv which has proven to be difficult but, almost possible.  If you're in the market for some cute baby-shower gifts, visit Surfing Baby on etsy.com.  Liv is fully on the move now which incidentally, is a total game-changer.  Not only has she been doing the full-roll for weeks, she can, what I like to call, 'inch-worm' her way across the bed. The days of an immobile, sleeping baby lump are over.  This morning I woke up to her screaming, only to find her foot wedged in a crib bar, and poop smeared all over her sheets.  Awesome.  Seriously though, it really is awesome but, whoever said that raising a child isn't easy sure as hell wasn't lying!

That's pretty much it for now.  For some reason, this morning's poop incident inspired me to check in.

And of course, I wouldn't sign off without a couple of photos for my people....

The Sunshine After the Rain

Well, where there's sunshine and rain, there is generally a rainbow and if Ian and I are rainbow chasers, ours always seems to end in Hawaii.  Our pot of gold ... which incidentally, has quite a lot to do with family.  Somewhere in the midst of this last jaunt to the mainland, we figured out that we are very, very tired.  As I'm sure all of you are having a hard time keeping up with where we are on the globe, we're having an even harder time keeping up with ourselves.  Sometime in mid-June, we broke.  Sometime in mid-June, we thought it would be an excellent idea to slam on the brakes.  And sometime in mid-June we realized, the best place to do this would be right back where we came from.  Hawaii.  So, after packing up, selling everything we owned, re-writing our lives one more time, and determining that this was our course, we take it all back.  We take back everything we said.  We've vowed to stay in Hawaii for at least a year and do what most people do.  Just stay still for a while.  And while I'd like to say that everything has been puppies and unicorns unfortunately, it hasn't.  Quoted from another blog I love called Momastery, the author writes, "We don't have to worry about being any good when we're at our worst, we just have to keep trying.  Because when people only show up at their best, it causes confusion and leads folks to believe that others are always strong, and sailing through life.  That's just not true.  We gotta show ourselves when we're all beat up and scarred too.  That's what people need to see, much more than our shiny selves."  So, while we're a little broken and battered, we're definitely on the mend and we're with family.  It turns out ... this is the most important thing in the world.  

My little pea pod!  Thanks Aunty Brooklyn

Tummy time on GG's blanket

Hiking with Mom and Dad

Ian calls this, "The Impending Apocalypse"

In the beach tent with Big Poppa

The Forty Year Storm

The heavens rained down for three days straight.  I believe they were crying over my teeth.  The forty year flood of Duluth left us with eleven inches of rain, stranded on Shultz Lake for four days, and the road washed out in two places.  I will always recall this blip of my life with a clap of thunder in the background.  I'm glad it rained.  I'm glad it was stormy.  I'm glad that the haze of percocet and lidocaine and fourteen appointments in three weeks was accompanied by something record-setting.  It felt big.  And it was big.  All of it.  The weather and losing my teeth.  Losing my teeth.  I don't know if I'll ever get over it.  All in good time.  I know.  But damn, this is hard.  It is so fricking hard.  Thank god for my baby.  Thank god for Ian.  Thank god for my family.  And Puna.  And the sunshine after the rain.  The sunshine after the rain .....

WTF

Ugggggh.  I don't even know where to begin.  Most of you are aware that we are not in Nicaragua and I will make the explanation for our state of affairs as short as possible.  A week after we booked our tickets abroad, our manager and good friend called and offered us two months of solid work at Sen during the peak season in the Hamptons.  We thought it was a good idea financially, and decided that two months of work would be far less stressful than our originally intended five.  This way, we could still go to Nicaragua for a month, and then head to New York for the busy July/August season.  Then, four days before our departure date to Central America, Ian received word that the nightclub he worked at last season wanted him back again.  This, however, was under the stipulation that he be in New York by Memorial Day weekend which subsequently, was in three days.  We had already questioned whether or not it made sense to go to Nicaragua for a month and in the end, we decided the money was far too good for our new little family to pass up.  We were also feeling much more comfortable with Liv at this point so, he left for NY the following day and I wrapped up our loose ends in Hawaii over the next week.

Since my work wouldn't begin until the fourth of July, I decided a trip to Minneapolis was in order so my grandma could meet her great-granddaughter.  To get there however, I was going to have to cross the ocean with Liv and Puna, by myself.  Needless to say, I had a little anxiety about the whole situation because, don't forget - Puna is a service animal and would be travelling at my feet on the plane.  Everything went as well as it could have despite the fact that Mama didn't sleep for fourteen hours.  Liv had one blowout about an hour into the first flight and while mama changed her diaper in the bathroom, Puna stayed at our seat and didn't budge an inch.  Good dog!  It was all worth it in the end, because this picture will forever be in my heart.  Plus, Liv and I got the best sleep we've ever had when we finally made it to Grandma's basement. I think we slept for eighteen hours!

Four Generations

So, now I will take you into the next chapter of our crazy little lives.  Yesterday, I found out that I have advanced chronic periodontitis, and that my entire top row of teeth needs to be removed.  They have completely deteriorated at the roots and I have a constant, low-grade infection associated with the disease.  I now understand why I have been feeling sick and run-down all the time.  I thought it was just from being a new mom but, a recent toothache finally brought me to the dentist.  My mom was diagnosed with gum-disease at forty so, I knew it was in our family.   Also, for five years in my 20's I took a drug for epilepsy that has been known to contribute to alveolar bone loss.  Then, of course, there was the pregnancy which can do a number on your teeth and gums, as well.  The doc says that being pregnant more than likely accelerated an already troublesome situation.  All these factors, compounded with the simple fact that I have slacked on routine cleanings and basic maintenance over the last three years, has led me to where I am today.  I am completely devastated and still getting over the initial shock that next week, at 34 years old, I will be getting 18 teeth pulled and fitted for a temporary denture.  I have a long, painful, expensive road ahead of me.  I'm completely embarrassed that it happened so young and I'm even more mad at myself for not seeing someone sooner.  They call it the "silent disease" but, never in a million years did I ever think it could be this bad.  I am starting the initial procedures in Duluth.  Obviously, it's important that I rid my body of the infection first, and the only way I can do that at this point, is to have my teeth taken out.  For my own piece of mind and everyone else's, I've researched whether or not my breast milk is transferring the infection to Liv and rest-assured, breast milk is an amazing substance.  It was already producing extra immunities to protect Liv before I even knew I had an infection.  I have found nothing to convince me to stop nursing my child.  The only infectious diseases they say you should stop breastfeeding for are HIV, Hep A and B, and Lyme's disease.  The infection will be gone within a few days of my teeth being removed.

SO, FUCK.  Yes, FUCK.  I rarely swear in this blog but this chapter deserves a big, fat FUCK.  The hardest part of this situation is that our family is not together.  I have never been away from Ian and we're going on 16 days now.  Today is his 30th birthday and I'm so pissed we're not together.  The good news is, I think the initial part can be done in four weeks and from there, I can head to NY.  The other good news is, it's just my teeth.  As absolutely horrible as it is, it's not cancer, it's not death, it's not something that hinders our abilities to continue living in the way that we do.  So, we just deal with all that life throws us .... one day at a time ....  

Here are some Liv pictures to lighten the mood ...