A Managua Timeline.

Our intentions for travelling to Managua were certainly not for pleasure so, in an effort to give you the full effect of our experience, I think the best way to convey these two days, is to do it over a timeline.

Wednesday July 7th

400pm (still in Gigante) - Gardener Felix, tells us that it is going to pour rain overnight.  Knowing that a) we are leaving for Managua in the morning and that b) our passport stamps expire on the 8th and that c) the river out of Gigante is impassible after a storm, we d) pray that he is wrong.

600pm - We run out of gas while buying eggs at the pulperia.

605pm - Ian borrows a motorcycle to purchase two gallons of gas at the church up the road.

620pm - It begins to pour rain.

700pm - the power goes out.

Thursday July 8th

600am - it is still pouring.

700am - We decide that the river is impassable and sleep a little longer hoping that the rain will stop, the river will go down, and that we can leave by nine or ten.

830am - the rain stops, Felix the gardener arrives for the day, and tells us that in fact, the river is "not that bad."

930am - we lock the dogs in the bottom part of the casita, beg for them to not do anything stupid, then leave for Managua.  We cross the river with no problems.

1000am - we drive past the Guacalito pulperia, decide to turn around to purchase one more gallon of gas to ensure that we make it to Rivas.

1005am - Lady Grey starts making suspicious noises.

1010am - we decide that it is a possibility that the afore mentioned pulperia, put diesel in our gasoline engine.

1015am - the car is still making suspicious noises like a) she is running out of gas again or b) she is pissed off because she is ingesting diesel instead of gasoline.

1020am - we find some random house on the side of the road in Tola who will sell us another gallon of gasoline.

1025am - the car is still making suspicious noises but runs smoothly in fourth gear but we opt to stop at our mechanic's house, who is on our way out of town anyways.  Good thing ...

1030am - mechanic tells us that in fact, we DO have a little bit of diesel in our tank and that it IS in fact, bad.  He checks the spark plugs.  Two have been fried from the diesel.

1031am - Ian tells Melissa that she should always double check to make sure that the eleven year old kid who is putting liquid into your gas tank out of a recycled plastic Coca-Cola bottle is, for sure, putting gasoline, not diesel, into your engine.

1032am - Melissa gets pissed at Ian because she feels like he is blaming her for the diesel in the tank, even though she asked for gasoline and the eleven year old kid's mom, told him to put gasoline in our tank.

1033am - Ian apologizes to Melissa.

1035am - Mechanic replaces the plugs and tells us to put more gas in our tank and to let the diesel work its way out.

1100am - We arrive in Rivas, put forty dollars worth of gas in our tank, go to the ATM and call our Managua driver Robert Ow, whom we are meeting just outside of the city, to be escorted into the mouth of the beast, where we can ditch our car at the hostel we are staying at, then get driven around to do our errands.  We tell him we'll be in Managua by one.

1130am - we get pulled over by the national police.  All our documents are in order, we present our fire extinguisher and safety triangles and he lets us go without having to bribe him.  A small miracle.

1200pm - we go the wrong way in the Masaya region.

1230pm - we realize we have gone the wrong way.  This may have been Melissa's fault even though she chooses not to acknowledge this fact.  Ian is irritated with her but keeps his mouth shut this time.  They sit in silence for a half hour until both are over it.

100pm - we call our Managua driver and tell him that we have gone the wrong way and that we would be entering the city from the southwest.  He sounds disappointed but slightly humored by our mistake, and arranges for a new place to meet us.  He tells us we have gone WAY out of our way.

200pm - we meet Robert in front of a Shell station off the highway and he escorts into the city.  We see our first stoplights in three months.

230pm - a very drunk homeless man is taking a piss on the building next to our hostel.

231pm - we buzz the hostel's front door and the very drunk homeless man runs past us, through the hostel's front door.  We become very skeptical of our chosen location.

232pm - we find out that the very drunk homeless man is a guest at the hostel.

233pm - very drunk homeless man breaks beer bottle on floor of reception hall.

234pm - we become even more skeptical of our chosen location, but don't care enough to change it.  We see our room which is very, very small and smells like piss and cigs. We park our car in their gates and get into the more luxurious ride of Robert Ow's.  Robert tells us he is from the Corn Islands and we like his accent very much.

300pm - we arrive at Tecnosol.  They have one propane refrigerator.  It is exactly what we are looking for and it costs two thousand, one hundred and seventy six dollars.  We buy it because we don't really have a choice and are well aware that the only other solar store in Managua does not have what we are looking for.  We throw in a rechargeable fan for an extra fifty dollars and arrange to have the fridge delivered on Friday.  We are relieved that we even found this illusive appliance without any hassle.

330pm - we celebrate at McDonald's.  We crush multiple cheeseburgers and a boatload of fries.  Fountain Coke never tastes so good.

400pm - we arrive at PriceMart.  It blows our minds because, as we find out shortly after our arrival, it is, in fact, Costco.  We haven't seen anything like it since Hawaii and we are excited over things like organic cotton sheets, fancy knife sets, industrial shelving, ranch dressing, Grey Poupon, and above all Kraft American Singles.

500pm - we check out with a three hundred and fifty dollar bill.  We quickly realize that we need to leave the city or we will be headed back to Hawaii sooner than expected.

520pm - Robert shows us the correct way to exit the city and tells us how to get to La Colonial so we can buy  fancy groceries on the way out of town.  By fancy I mean, anything other than the menial items they sell at the only grocery store in Rivas.

525pm - We transfer our items from Robert's car to ours, thank him for his services and go inside the hostel to drink a beer.

530pm - We walk to Metro Centro which is only two blocks from our hostel and inquire about getting our passports stamped.  We realize they close in a half hour and decide to deal with it in the morning.  Because Metro Centro is a mall, we weave in and out of stores looking for typical, new house knick knacks.  We buy a dustpan with its own small sweeper, some tongs, a bunch of clips to close things like bags of flour or sugar, a shower curtain and rod, and a knife sharpener.

600pm - we indulge in the blended goodness of mocha frappes.

630pm - we buy tickets to the only movie they have in English because we are too tired to decipher an entire flick in Spanish.  The movie is Kick-Ass which we have already seen but don't care because it kicks ass.

815pm - we choose to have dinner at the fancy hotel next to Metro Centro because we feel like we deserve it and whats another fifty bucks after spending 2500?  We immediately order a half bottle of rum, a chicken caeser and a bowl of French onion soup followed by a steak with mashed potatoes and steamed vegetables.  They continually bring us fresh ice and more cokes for our cocktails and do things like replace silverware in anticipation of the next course.  Melissa believes that they could use this type of help at Indigo.  Our total bill - forty two dollars including tip.

930pm - we debate whether or not to take a cab the two blocks to our hostel because we question the safety of the neighborhood.  Then we question the safety of a cab.  We choose to run the first block, then fast walk the rest of the way.  We make it unscathed and unrobbed.

945pm - we watch cable in English until we fall asleep.  Melissa notices a pubic hair stuck into the paint on the wall next to her head and a mysterious dried-up brownish splash accompanying it.

300am - Melissa screams, and I mean screams, out of a dead sleep.  She is having a bad dream.  A very bad dream indeed.  Ian holds her and tells her everything is going to be ok.  He turns the TV back on to purge the demons from the room and Melissa tells Ian she thinks someone has been murdered in this room and that it is for sure, haunted.

Friday July 9th

800am - we get the fuck out of the hostel that we will never come to ever again.

830am - McDonald's again.  Mmmm.  Egg Mc Muffins and hash browns with piping hot coffee.

840am - Melissa clogs McDonald's toilet and we leave immediately thereafter.

900am - arrive at Metro Centro again to check out the passport scene.  A line of people occupying plastic chairs has already begun to form, an hour before they open.  We join the line of plastic chairs.

945am - the scene becomes very intense as more people arrive and start crowding the front of the line, indifferent to the crowd who had already been waiting for an hour.

946am - we question the morals of people in third world countries and hate on their line tactics.  We decide that Melissa will stand near the front in case a mad rush occurs, and Ian will remain in the line of plastic chairs.

1000am - a lady from the office comes out with forms and a mad rush occurs.  The line remains somewhat intact and we are thankful to be very near the front.  A horrible woman and her teenage child who both manage to bud their way to the front, get accosted by the Spanish women around them.  They are shamed and hang their heads but do not leave.  The women in front of us actually tattle on them to the lady in charge.

1100am - we leave with passports stamped.  Ninety more days in Nicaragua if our bank account allows it.  We are ready to get the hell out of dodge.

1130am - Ian begins to drive out of the city.  On the way out we stop at the Galleria which is Managua's fancy mall.  At a Macy's equivalent, Melissa falls to her knees in love.  They have all her missing kitchen items.  French Press, salad spinner, 9x13 pan, loaf pan, 9x9 brownie pan with fresh-top, measuring spoons, measuring cups, bread knife, a cookie sheet and some other random items.  One-hundred dollars later - Melissa can bake again.

1200pm - We stop at La Colonial.  Again, mind-blowing.  They have ten different varietals of lettuce and produce we haven't seen since we left - i.e. asparagus.  We seriously stock up because we are not allowed to do anything or go anywhere until we leave in October.  Two-hundred and forty dollars worth of groceries gets charged to our Visa, because we can.

100pm - we are officially on our way out of Managua.  We pull off the side of the road in Masaya to buy two hammocks.

200pm - we arrive in Masatepe to find that all the artisans have collectively decided to raise their furniture prices.  Our set that was $350 two months ago, is now $650.  We cannot afford this and nothing will bring these ladies down.  We are very disappointed and curse their business tactics.

230pm - we stop at one more shotty-looking shop in a last ditch effort.  They sell us a couch and coffee table for $250 and we are pleased.  The couch gets strapped to the roof with twine and the table gets wedged into the already full car.

430pm - we arrive in Rivas to purchase one more propane tank for our oven.  The tank only fits at Melissa's feet and she is now pancaked to the front seat.

445pm - we are relieved that we are close to home.  We buy some beers and drink them on the very slow, very bumpy road home.

600pm - we arrive at La Vista and unload the car.  Seth and Lindsey come up from Iguana to help us.  They have tequila in them and are very anxious to help.  We love them very much for this.

700pm - we drive back to Gigante to drop off some Pricemart items for Swell and eat dinner before heading back up to Chanelle's.

800pm - We arrive back home to the dogs who are both surprisingly calm with no signs of defecation on the floor.