The Forty Year Storm

The heavens rained down for three days straight.  I believe they were crying over my teeth.  The forty year flood of Duluth left us with eleven inches of rain, stranded on Shultz Lake for four days, and the road washed out in two places.  I will always recall this blip of my life with a clap of thunder in the background.  I'm glad it rained.  I'm glad it was stormy.  I'm glad that the haze of percocet and lidocaine and fourteen appointments in three weeks was accompanied by something record-setting.  It felt big.  And it was big.  All of it.  The weather and losing my teeth.  Losing my teeth.  I don't know if I'll ever get over it.  All in good time.  I know.  But damn, this is hard.  It is so fricking hard.  Thank god for my baby.  Thank god for Ian.  Thank god for my family.  And Puna.  And the sunshine after the rain.  The sunshine after the rain .....

WTF

Ugggggh.  I don't even know where to begin.  Most of you are aware that we are not in Nicaragua and I will make the explanation for our state of affairs as short as possible.  A week after we booked our tickets abroad, our manager and good friend called and offered us two months of solid work at Sen during the peak season in the Hamptons.  We thought it was a good idea financially, and decided that two months of work would be far less stressful than our originally intended five.  This way, we could still go to Nicaragua for a month, and then head to New York for the busy July/August season.  Then, four days before our departure date to Central America, Ian received word that the nightclub he worked at last season wanted him back again.  This, however, was under the stipulation that he be in New York by Memorial Day weekend which subsequently, was in three days.  We had already questioned whether or not it made sense to go to Nicaragua for a month and in the end, we decided the money was far too good for our new little family to pass up.  We were also feeling much more comfortable with Liv at this point so, he left for NY the following day and I wrapped up our loose ends in Hawaii over the next week.

Since my work wouldn't begin until the fourth of July, I decided a trip to Minneapolis was in order so my grandma could meet her great-granddaughter.  To get there however, I was going to have to cross the ocean with Liv and Puna, by myself.  Needless to say, I had a little anxiety about the whole situation because, don't forget - Puna is a service animal and would be travelling at my feet on the plane.  Everything went as well as it could have despite the fact that Mama didn't sleep for fourteen hours.  Liv had one blowout about an hour into the first flight and while mama changed her diaper in the bathroom, Puna stayed at our seat and didn't budge an inch.  Good dog!  It was all worth it in the end, because this picture will forever be in my heart.  Plus, Liv and I got the best sleep we've ever had when we finally made it to Grandma's basement. I think we slept for eighteen hours!

Four Generations

So, now I will take you into the next chapter of our crazy little lives.  Yesterday, I found out that I have advanced chronic periodontitis, and that my entire top row of teeth needs to be removed.  They have completely deteriorated at the roots and I have a constant, low-grade infection associated with the disease.  I now understand why I have been feeling sick and run-down all the time.  I thought it was just from being a new mom but, a recent toothache finally brought me to the dentist.  My mom was diagnosed with gum-disease at forty so, I knew it was in our family.   Also, for five years in my 20's I took a drug for epilepsy that has been known to contribute to alveolar bone loss.  Then, of course, there was the pregnancy which can do a number on your teeth and gums, as well.  The doc says that being pregnant more than likely accelerated an already troublesome situation.  All these factors, compounded with the simple fact that I have slacked on routine cleanings and basic maintenance over the last three years, has led me to where I am today.  I am completely devastated and still getting over the initial shock that next week, at 34 years old, I will be getting 18 teeth pulled and fitted for a temporary denture.  I have a long, painful, expensive road ahead of me.  I'm completely embarrassed that it happened so young and I'm even more mad at myself for not seeing someone sooner.  They call it the "silent disease" but, never in a million years did I ever think it could be this bad.  I am starting the initial procedures in Duluth.  Obviously, it's important that I rid my body of the infection first, and the only way I can do that at this point, is to have my teeth taken out.  For my own piece of mind and everyone else's, I've researched whether or not my breast milk is transferring the infection to Liv and rest-assured, breast milk is an amazing substance.  It was already producing extra immunities to protect Liv before I even knew I had an infection.  I have found nothing to convince me to stop nursing my child.  The only infectious diseases they say you should stop breastfeeding for are HIV, Hep A and B, and Lyme's disease.  The infection will be gone within a few days of my teeth being removed.

SO, FUCK.  Yes, FUCK.  I rarely swear in this blog but this chapter deserves a big, fat FUCK.  The hardest part of this situation is that our family is not together.  I have never been away from Ian and we're going on 16 days now.  Today is his 30th birthday and I'm so pissed we're not together.  The good news is, I think the initial part can be done in four weeks and from there, I can head to NY.  The other good news is, it's just my teeth.  As absolutely horrible as it is, it's not cancer, it's not death, it's not something that hinders our abilities to continue living in the way that we do.  So, we just deal with all that life throws us .... one day at a time ....  

Here are some Liv pictures to lighten the mood ...